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jared michael

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[26 Aug 2008|01:05am]
It's been quite a while. I haven't updated this since I was 17. Here I am now 19 and probably not much more of a man. I know a lot of the people on my friends list may hate me or have other feelings of discontentment towards me. I'm still finding my way, but I have an idea of where I am now, and where I would like to be. I think it's a good start. Anyways, in light of the drama, I have a girlfriend. Her name is Ellie. We haven't been dating long. But I think she's the type of person that can handle me, and maybe help me to calm down when my anxiety sets in. It's a good feeling.
Um, I don't really know what else to say. I'm sorry to the people I have hurt who occasionally read LiveJournal and will scoff at my posting. There is, however, a certain individual to whom I am not sorry. It astounds me that despite being exposed they still have the audacity to talk their way out of lies with more lies. But just as the hole they crawled in caved before, they'll dig this next one the same way.

Edit: That was a strange note to end this post on. So I'm going to try again...


Have a nice day.
(1 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[22 Mar 2007|09:19pm]
So every time I update this I swear up and down to keep up with it.

I'm explosive.

When a lot gets on my mind this becomes my product of thought, in a way. Anyways, within the past month (is that how long it's been?) a few things have changed. I'm dating a sweet, wonderful woman named Katherine. She's really supportive of me and fun. She's so many great things that I never knew you could pack into one person. I'm completely infatuated, to be honest.

I've been seeing much more of Molly lately. It's been a lot of fun hanging out with her and getting to know her all over again. There's so much more to her than meets the eye, and that's saying a lot. It's been great being with her. She really amazes me over and over again.

Last week I was involved in 3 car accidents in three back-to-back days. Bleh. None were my fault, but one managed to pin me with $650. For those of you who don't remember (or never knew):

I'm seventeen years old.
I'm in high school.
I'll be in college for 4 years.
I work at Pizza Hut.

How much money could I possibly have?!? Oh well. Sometimes the law fucks you over. Anyways, I'm also getting the dents out of my car and having it detailed. Courtesy of the first old man who backed into me. I guess the stressful thing is not only needing money that I don't have. But the fact that I was involved in three accidents...it sort of makes you wonder if you're actually a bad driver. I began to dwell on that thought then came to the following conclusion: Fuck no I'm not a bad driver.

Well, I'm being promoted at The Hut to Crew Trainer. With the new position I'll be given a raise, a different uniform, and some "technical" authority other than just Production Control.

I have spring break off, with paid vacation. We're hiring, if anybody is interested.

Max and Carrie got back together, I hope they're happy.

Beach trip on Tuesday! I'm excited the weather finally stopped being cold.

I think weather everywhere has been reacquainted with sun.
(1 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

Well.. [22 Jan 2007|04:24pm]
What can I say?

In two weeks it will have been a year. So much has changed...so much has become more real. This is because it is. Slowly our parents give us more trust, more responsibility. Sometimes we just take that responsibility on our own will. We want so badly to be grown up and to be our own person that we sometimes oversee the most basic principles of the statement. We actually are changing. Though, if it isn't extreme and noticeable it wont scale to most of us.

Change: When done right, you probably don't even notice it.

I'm talking, of course, about the anniversary of my working at Pizza Hut. Maybe a little bit of college stress is thrown in there too.

Aren't there things I wish I could have done differently? Of course. But in retrospect, I am content in where the result of all of my prior decisions have placed me. I have done things I regret, but my dreams must remain buried in the past, nowhere else.

My former English teacher practically begged for my permission to enter some of my poetry into a contest. It came as a shock to me for many reasons. She told me it made her think about herself and those around her. I was impressed that something I wrote could make someone reevaluate themselves.

Literature: Mind control.

I keep waking up later than I should, even when I am fully rested. Asking myself what my priorities are is pointless, it doesn't always come down to that. I even give myself the same generic answers as though I was being asked by my mother. Sometimes doing everything within your limitations just isn't enough.

We as humans are amazing. We endure. Even when we don't want to. My typing this is proof. No labyrinth is inescapable.
----

;] Anywho..

Screamo has been demoted to my second favorite genre.
Acoustic/Alternative is going up.
Hardcore will stay as is.
Country is still out of the picture.

Alison needs to stop stalking me.

Zolof tomorrow will be fun.
FX Saturday will be fun.

3 day vacation from work starting today. w00t
----

Hope all is well with all of you. I'm fucking stoked.



-Jared
(8 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[12 Sep 2006|04:03pm]
[ mood | happy ]

1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal

_________________________________________________________--


now, with that out of the way....

life is good. work, school, socializing....good times.

recently i've been really tired, i think i might be coming down with something. but i'll manage:].

i hope all is well with you crispy critters.

raito/ryuuk: fw4l

(25 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

New Message From www.sugardaddie.com! [24 Aug 2006|10:51am]
[ mood | happy ]

so i pretty much got home from school for an hour, and had to go to work. armando had to study for a test so i decided to be nice close for him. i'm beat. i am scheduled for 26 hours of work this week... i havent had hours this bountiful since before melissa, armando, and john were there. i only had one day off this week, though, next week i get wednesday and saturday off.

thinking about it, i have been working at the hut for a little bit more than 6 months now. happy monthaversary, honey.

it feels good to be home.

jared jr. wont stfu, i guess it's part of being a woman...

i had to get a school photo ID today, ack.

so..who wants to hang out this weekend?

(13 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[23 Aug 2006|08:18am]
[ mood | eh ]

ack, people are letdowns. enough said.

this weekend should consist of good times. i spent my only day off this week resting and doing other various fun things:). no, that does not include beating off or any such vulgar acts.

i am in 12th grade, most of you that read this are around the same. have you ever spent time thinking about who you were back in 9th grade? so much has changed. i had promises back then. beit, they were for completely useless/stupid thoughts/dreams. in 10th grade i was still fucking around and i eventually transferred to mckeel. i actually wasn't such a bad student there. well, in 11th grade i did pretty good in school, i felt good about myself. eventually, as the metaphorical swing of life must go, the downswing came....and totally changed my world. i was utterly lost for a while. but now i am beginning to get a grip on myself, on reality. what people are to me, what this world is to me. these are all good things. i wish i would have taken time to be alone sooner, you never know where i would be now. anyways, life isn't too bad now. i have gotten to know "jared". not "jared and kim" or "jared and kaila". just...me. this is good...i wont be able to lose sight of myself now, no matter what relationship i get in.

oh, the humanity!

(14 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[14 Aug 2006|11:56pm]
[ mood | calm ]

oh it's been some time since i've last written here. it's just hard to sit down and write...i write what's on my mind in my own journals...so sometimes it just feels redundant to write it down here. but, i like to see how i interpret things differently after having more time to think about my feelings. comparing impulsive emotion to thought out, analyzed conclusions. maybe it's just my thinking too much.

i havent been in a relationship in a while. this time alone has served well in allowing me to experience things that would be otherwise impossible to understand while in a relationship. but i miss being romantic and thoughtful. even now, i want something/someone to get my hopes up for. gah, i hate these vulnerable moments. but sometimes you can't help but look around you and just feel despair when you see that couple in the hallway that wont stop making out. you outwardly hate them because you think it's just annoying...but if you think into it, maybe it's envy...not for the person being kissed, but because they have the chance to cultivate something beautiful. then you begin to wonder...how will they end up? who will fuck up and regret this whole thing first?pssh

it's nice going back to lhs. i missed some people there.

man, i always sound sad over something in these posts. in truth, i feel pretty happy. i'm excited for my english class to continue and to doing a good job this year in school. i look forward to waking up in the morning and listening to my CD (not MP3) player, i look forward to band practice and to my phone conversations with brittney that somehow last a lifetime longer than they feel.

on a lighter note, i cashed in my change jar (piggy bank)at publix and got $20 out of it. w00t. it might not sound like much, but hey..that can go a long way. it could even get dinner for two somewhere....not counting tip and stuff though.

what am i doing right now? what's on my mind? well..i'm actually thinking about going to bed. come cuddle.

(15 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[30 Jul 2006|09:13pm]
my birthday was last week. thanks to everybody that made it worthwhile with your birthday wishes and blah blah blah.

i've had feelings for somebody, oh have i... but i revert to being scared and shy. why
can't i just stay myself and be confident?

i feel so tired all the time. i feel like i lost one of my closest friends because i am an idiot.

i still feel tired. i feel like i am suffocating. what the fuck do i have to be sad about?? why am i writing this in an online journal... i don't want you people to know my problems. i don't want a bleeding heart, nor a scrutinizing one. amongst the things i am tired of is this person whos alias i have adopted. this isn't me. i'm not shy, i'm not an ass. i like to play my guitar and sing and write. i like to be held and i love to feel loved.

i am sure this is only a temporary feeling of despair..i will delete this post once confirmed.


fuck
(8 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[06 Jul 2006|09:04pm]
[ mood | bored ]

life is good. reunited with old friends. let other friends go. things might be falling into place...so that's good.

i am writing brittney back. i like what we have.

i think i might start looking for a new job. but i don't know. i was going to write a good entry, but i have become distracted.

;)

(9 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[28 Jun 2006|12:02am]
[ mood | happy ]

you know..it's nights like these that make us feel larger than life that remind us that we really aren't. i think that it is our deliberate ignorance of the fact that makes these times worth remembering. fuck, i am vague.

i remember that i had felt this impending guilt for a while...like i have been hiding myself from people. but why should i feel guilty over that? why should i have to worry about people knowing me for who i am? sometimes i feel like i would rather be hated for who i am not..than to be embraced for who i am. then i realized how pathetic that all is and discovered that i felt guilty because i was hiding from myself. people can't tell you who you are..but they can tell you that you are losing hold of who you really are. but i guess gantz can clear that up with a single sentence:
No labyrinth is inescapable
i mean...if you think about it, that's really profound...a contradiction, even. but words of strength nonetheless.

what makes life seem so intolerable sometimes? even when there is nothing to be upset over, i can still find myself dissatisfied. sometimes we feel shorthanded...envy, vanity, anger...it all takes its toll on us and contributes to us losing ourselves.

i have misconstrued my feelings a lot in these past months....i've had confusing times and i have been wrong to people. i have also helped people.

i found one of my journals in my brothers car today. it was one i had just started writing in when i lost it. darin and i shared it for like a day or something. i miss the connection i felt like i had with him. i guess i miss him. man, i was messed up when i wrote the entries. i tried to sound optimistic and like i had a plan for what i would do next...and like i was getting my life back in order. in reality, i was heartbroken and just hating life. i was looking through my backpack on these notebook pages where i would write journal entries. there was a "note" that darin and i had passed back and fourth and it hit home...i am not going to say what i was writing, but i had seen something i just wasn't ready to see. and he wrote "hang in there, it'll be okay". i fucking remember him writing that....and he looked at me when he finished writing it. i felt like crying, i remember. i felt like i was nothing, yet he looked at me like he really cared..and like i was significant. we all need friends like that...people that can nurture you more with a look than so many others could do with a speech.

in short...i hung in there, i am alright...and i escaped my hell.

anyways...i bought my circa survive ticket the other day. yes!@#$#@

i've been writing acoustic songs as of late. it's a nice way to face my emotions. stfu. i wrote a song that i call "belittle the word" and the other one is nameless...i was going to name it "...then i defy you, stars!" because that's probably my favorite line from romeo and juliet. but i think some band named a song that already. maybe i'll start an acoustic side project and call it that, instead.

adam needs a girlfriend.::shoves a twinkie in his mouth::

i am listening to bayside's self titled cd right now, it hasn't been THAT long since i listened to it...but it still brings back the old emotion i put into their music when i first started listening to them.

lakehouse on 4th of july with the guys. it'll be the best.

single life and living it up. woot woot. ;)

(29 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[18 Jun 2006|04:08pm]
[ mood | calm ]

so i have been on vacation at disney with my wonderful relatives from california for the past 8 days or so. i had a wonderful time. i had time to think and embrace a lot of things.

i think i have been sad for a long time. i have times when i feel normal or like i think i should feel...but it leaves. i have been letting things weigh down and burden me. i didn't think i was so consumed by negative emotion until now. so i have a lot to get off of my chest.

i have learned and accepted that even though i have a lot of "friends", i don't have a bountiful amount of good friends. but i think that is the way it should be. we are all too different to be good friends with everybody.

who, other than a few people, understands the real meaning of the word love? what do any of you know? what do i know? we will mistake countless feelings for love. and i have been in a few situations in which i thought i had love. but we all have our limits and sometimes the hardest thing to do is to accept that you giving your best just isn't enough. at first that despair killed me. but after thinking about it for a while, i discovered that my best was too good...and i have something better waiting for me out there somewhere.

i really want to see my cousin jonathan. it's been about 4 years.

fuck, i hate sounding unhappy. i had a good time this past week. we have extra water park/disney quest/pleasure island passes. so we will probably take some friends with us to those places. just let me know if you want to.

i think i want to go to the movies and see something. i haven't done that in so long.

we ate at emaril's or whatever it is. he was that cook that would go "BAM!" when he cooked or whatever. the bill was $600. but it was great food.

i've been writing lyrics. and that's the good thing that comes from me thinking.

i'm not tired at all anymore...i think i am going to go somewhere now.

(10 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[02 Jun 2006|11:56pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

it has been a while. i have had a lot on my mind as of late. and i have been sick since the day school got out. but that hasn't stopped me from seeing bayside and zolof the rock & roll destroyer. both shows were incredibly worth while. and i met anthony from bayside outside of the social while hoping to buy somebodys ticket.

link is gone on vacation. so my house has been the central location for a little bit. when he comes back his cousin will be with him. it'll all be jolly. on june 9th i am going to disney/universal for a week. we aren't renting a hotel up there so we will be driving there and back to my house every day/night. i think that will be a lot of gas. i think it'll be cool to see my family again. my cousin jonathan wants to fly me to california sometime so that we can jam out and catch up. i miss him and i love that guy, he's really my hero.

acoustic sessions with adam have been awesome. my voice will be all the way back some day.

my amp died. old POS

i've felt really tired lately. summer came just in time...i think i was running on empty and needed some recharge time.

people are ugly. realizing that is heartbreaking. we do ugly things and act on raw, ugly emotions. everybody is fucked up...hell, i'm fucked up. but i want to help people still. i want to be a good friend and looked to as a good person. i have been writing more lately. there is so much on my mind..but i don't even understand it all.

i have been thinking about my future a lot lately...and i know that i am about to make a decision that will either make me a success or a serious fuck up in the future. but i can't fuck up...i can't afford it. a lot of people need help...but i can't help them if i can't help myself. i am oblivious, i know...but at this rate, everything in the world will go to shit. i will not be one of the people that others think are ruining this generation and thus, the future... none of are. one day, people will learn to hate hating others, or anything for the matter..and embrace the true meaning of love. i may be oblivious but i am not black-hearted. now is the time for us to make those crazy decisions that we aren't so sure of. sometimes we need to take a chance even if we wont have anything to fall back on.

i have lost my journal..but if somebody finds it i hope that they read it and can take something to heart. you are never alone

(20 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[11 May 2006|10:33pm]
[ mood | geeky ]

Butter on a summer day
When she's around
I was on the tracks
When the gate came down
Suddenly I recognized
Those bloodshot rearview mirror eyes of mine

I heard that whistle call my name
I almost drove away
But Megan I had a feeling that you would be on that train
So I just waited there for you

Caught a ride to another town
Where the air was clean
And the sun never goes down
Everyone was standing in a line
Between the landing and the stairs

I heard somebody call my name
I almost climbed the stairs
But Megan I had a feeling that someday you'd meet me there
So I just waited there for you

Butter on a summer day
When I hear that name
It's a dream that never came true
Sat down on the tracks
And waited for a train to take me back to you

Somebody came and took my hand
I finally had to go
But Megan I just want you to know
That I waited as long as I could

Butter on a summer day when she's around

love that song^^^^^^^.

on the new naruto manga they show sasuke! he is like a samurai or something. mmm.

tonight link, amanda, mallory, and i went to beef's. it was fun.

i got my hair cut today, there is no hair going down my neck anymore. my thoughts on that: it's cold and windy. i like my barber shop because it's like the one from the movies.

today was the SGA speeches, christian was either nervous, out of breath, or both. it went well though.

i work every day this weekend.

well...life goes on folks.

(6 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[06 May 2006|12:29am]
[ mood | chipper ]

hello journal.
i definitely didn't deserve to go on to nationals, and i was relieved that one of the judges cell phones went off in the middle of my performance and screwed me over. i played it off but i wasn't able to get back in character so easily afterwards. a lot of other kids went all out with costumes and i was just wearing comfy clothes.

juan(sp) is probably going to be the first mckeel student to ever go on to nationals. he deserves it though, his documentary was incredible.

i took some pictures. we bought saw 2, waiting, and war of the worlds tonight after eating at the golden corrall. we watched saw 2 with the projector screen in juans room. all of the girls we had in there were scared...except the black girls, they laughed and were loud.

i like going on trips with the school because it's fun to be around people you don't know so well. it's cool when they come out of their shells or learn that you were the one in need of the nut cracker.

i think i have a crush. i will leave it at that.

tomorrow i have to check in at my house to say hi to my mom and family, then i get to hang out with my friends.

brittney should email me back because it has been a few days...

good times to come i hope, i feel pretty good and am looking forward to the long ride home.

i am definitely doing this again next year.

(1 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

get it together and bring it back to me [05 May 2006|01:31am]
[ mood | intangible ]

i am in tallahassee. i hope all is well in lakeland. i am one of 8 highschool students on this trip. the other 20893724 are middle school kids. but they have a curfew. ha! things are crunk up here..we took a smartboard and a bunch of laptops with us. there arent very many guys on this trip...but most of the high schoolers are guys, believe it or not. so the other guys are in a room where they set up the smart board and me, juan(sp),patelle(don't remember first name), black guy (?), kent (my room mate. he speaks fluent japanese and it's the coolest thing ever to hear him talk to his parents. ahh!), and mallory watched evolution. mr. wasseman, who went in place of mr. dill due to a family emergency, came to check on us and we hid mallory.

they taped our doors so we can't sneak out. but we use the windows for that...silly teachers.

i hope i do good on my monologue tomorrow. i probably don't deserve to go on from state, but i want to set good standards for me to surpass next year.

this middle school girl came up to me and asked me "are you a...::gets wide-eyed::...SCENE kid??" i looked her in the eyes, sat down to be at level with her, and took a deep breath...my reply was exactly as follows: "g-g-g-g-g-g-G Unit!" and i turned away.

i miss my cat. my mom said that we can go look at kittens, but i don't think i am ready.

today wasn't so bad. i caught up on all of the sleep i was lacking and i even got some extra. i read. i listened to music and thought up impossible things. i wore my bayside shirt and some girl that is staying somewhere in this hotel was like "good band" and gave me a thumbs up. i asked her what her favorite song by them was and she said she didn't know the name but knew the tune and some words. i asked her to sing it for me and she started singing "sugar we're going down" by fallout boy. i am sure my jaw was touching the floor at that point...because i scraped my chin as i walked away without saying bye.

christian IMd me and wished me luck. i thought it was the nicest thing ever.

i am not tired at all but i guess i should sleep soon or something. i am listening to boys night out and it is making me not want to sleep. so i had to turn it off.

speaking of boys night outttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. that is what's going down when i return to lakeland.

so much on my mind..so little i can say except good night.

(6 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[24 Apr 2006|11:26pm]
[ mood | calm ]

so since my last entry i have been through all kinds of tides. i've been to my neck in the tide, but i made it. shit happens and people change. i found out that i am like my mom in that i want to "save the world". my dad always tells her that she can't but she still takes the roll of mother for everybody.

i am an emotional person. i don't hide my emotions because i was not raised to. yes, i am afraid of a lot of things and i am afraid of who i really am...but i act as myself and will not hide from it, no matter the cost.

i always told myself and others that i wouldn't go back to kaila no matter what it meant. but it took having an actual confrontation with her to convince me that i don't need her. yes, i miss her. and yes, a part of me will always love her. but we can never be together again because i stopped knowing her completely a long time ago and didn't even realize it...we grew apart and spent too long trying to deny it and change ourselves to be better for one another. maybe i was too blinded by the thoughts of being in love to see it. maybe it could have been saved if i wasn't so scared. but it takes two people to let a relationship like ours go south. we loved eachother and i will try to remember the good times because she was a good girlfriend. i was a good boyfriend too. i will still be there for her in any way possible..but i think that right now if we were to be friends, it would end up destructive rather than constructive. but i hope that she can be happy. i can really say that i am happy now.

i hate seeing people hurt, and i hate knowing that i went through similar things. so i want to help them all..but i think i might do more damage by hoping that i could save someone and their feelings than anything else.

i don't think anybody appreciates robert cormier like i do. but he was an amazing author. i stumbled upon his book the chocolate war by accident. in middle school we had to have a book to read every day in peer class. i forgot a book and was walking to class when i see a tattered book on the floor. i thought it was probably a stupid book because it had a picture of a boy in a football uniform in the front with this look of despair on his face. i thought it would be about this aspiring football player that earns the respect of his peers by trying his best at football. so i pretended to read the book. i started from the middle at some random page. after a few days of staring at the page blankly, i saw a line that caught my attention. i actually read on from the middle of the book to the very end. so the first half wasn't read until last. nothing had ever reached out to me like that book. this new kid, who is a nothing, stands up against his school over something so stupid as an annual chocolate sale that had a mandatory participation requirement (though unspoken). he is pressured, threatened, and beaten...but he wont sell the chocolates simply because he doesn't want to. in the end of the book a secret society in his school sets out to make an example of him infront of everybody. he was beaten nearly to death while everybody in his school bought tickets to watch the event and participate in a raffle event to get the chocolates that he refused to sell. he dared to disturb the universe and failed. i never thought that somebody would write a book so bluntly. jerry renault set out to change his universe and failed. but robert cormier changed mine...he dared to make a riffle in my sea. people think that it is stupid for me to like his writing so much..but he is the reason that i started to enjoy reading, he inspired me to start writing. i really owe him a lot. i talked to his wife on the phone a while ago and i cried like a baby because it was just so incredible to be talking to somebody that he held so beloved to him before he passed away.

i guess with that long paragraph i am trying to say that i want to be a writer some day. i want to change peoples universes...i want to be the moon that brings in the tide and sends waves to kiss the shore.

throughout everything that has happened to me lately i have had the best friends ever. adam, link, jacob, jonathan, melissa...everybody that i spend my weekends with. darin has really great advice and i love that he looks out for me even if it means telling me stuff that i don't want to hear. and brittney has become like a best friend to me also...she is so compassionate and emotional...i love that she can confide so much into me and that i can be equally open with her. i know that she is a really wonderful person, and that isn't just how i feel. but i have come to know her much better than i did when we first started talking oh so long ago.

i don't know what lies in my future...but i wont waste away worrying about it.

next chapter of my life starts.........now!

(14 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[22 Mar 2006|08:14pm]
[ mood | calm ]

incredible. i got out of work just after 7. and i was scheduled to work until 10:30. i finished my prep-work early. isn't that sweet? i think so. 4-7 is only 3 hours, but i do enjoy my free time. i went to wendy's after i clocked out and gave them a some pizza. after that i got picked up and here i am. i haven't seen that homeless man i usually give wings to. i hope he is okay, he seemed well last i saw of him about a week ago.

i finished reading Fat Boy Rules The World. that book was pretty cool, at times i felt it was a little bit over-critical and stereotypical, but for the most part it was great. i would reccomend it to anybody.

i was going to buy The Fuck Up yesterday, but they were sold out so i have to wait till next month. though instead of not getting anything, i bought a journal so that i don't have to keep using my history folder/misc. papers for me to vent on. it's pretty nifty i think. i love to write, and it is a good way for me to vent when i need to.

i have a lot to say, i guess because i feel a lot. i have gotten much stronger and found stability over these past weeks. i have learned more about myself and my ambitions. but there is still this feeling of loneliness...despite everything that i have, i still long for someone to hold, someone that will hold me. i want somebody that will be just as scared as me, but willing to love. it feels so out of reach...maybe it is too much to ask.

i don't know what i am doing over spring break..i want to do something fun.

i work tomorrow 5-930 or something.

(10 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[19 Mar 2006|11:08pm]
[ mood | creative ]

today was okay.

late for work today. like by an hour. it was crazy. i hitched a ride with our neighbors to publix. then i stopped some random car and had him take me to pizza hut, but i had to help him find his puppy first...then we had candy. ack.. not really.

it was nice only working for like 2 hours though, and i didn't have to cook, i just did frozen prep. so it was cool not having to worry about the strange people that think their pizza will be done and in their hands in less than a minute. we aren't a mcdonalds.

though i did make some pizza's later on because mike is a slow cook and fell behind on the easiest night of the week. i loath working with that kid. he is best friends with the RGM's son, so he pretty much can't lose his job. he tries to talk down to me a lot but then i have to correct him when he makes the wrong order. how do you mess up on making a pizza where the order is right infront of you? oh well.

some friends of mine have upcoming interviews at the hut. it'll be cool to have more people to look forward to seeing, besides my "secret admirers", who aren't really secret, and not really admirers. it's just a joke i am sure.

i talked to brittany today (don't know if she spells her name brittany, brittney, britnee, etc etc.)until i realized how totally late i was for work. i like talking to her though.

i feel so uninspired right now. i don't know why.

(6 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

[15 Mar 2006|03:38pm]
[ mood | curious ]

things have taken an unexpected turn for the better as of late.

for those of you that don't know..i let go of kaila. i became tired of a lot of things and in the end realized that it can't be.

i have some pretty good friends. and i am finding my own things to look forward to now. can't wait for this weekend though. it should be fun=).

i've had a radiohead song stuck in my head forever..so i am listening to it now. i never really thought i would find myself wanting to hear a radiohead song though...his voice is just so good.

today was the county history fair. i placed in 2nd for a solo performance. so i will be going to the state history fair. blah blah blah.

last week i had a date with jessie. we went to see that movie with queen latifa. i think it was called last holiday. we talked throughout the whole movie and stuff. i had fun with her. i am going to see her some more this weekend. big smiles to her. =)

man, i don't remember sleeping at all last night. it was so restless and i got more exhausted trying to fall asleep than anything else. is that wierd? and i have to work tonight..hopefully i can take a long shift tomorrow or something. they've been giving me short shifts and it's nice but troublesome too.

i have to buy a new cellular phone...mine has a fucked up screen and i hate it. so i think i am going to get the "v" by lg. it's sweet..but $200. hmm. maybe i'll just buy it anyways..i got payed the other day anyways.

i turned on iTunes and accidently clicked on RATM. wow, i've missed them.

we have The Notebook and Walk The Line on DVD and i have never seen them. take note of that=).

my legs feel weak and my body is aching for some reason. ahhhhhh.

(39 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

i want you to feel what i do [11 Mar 2006|09:52am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

last night i had an unexpectedly good time.

i slept for a while. got woken up by a phone call from a lovely person. darin called me later on and we are hanging out sunday/monday. this should be pretty fun. we'll watch Gant.....Z!

went to links later on and hung with him, amanda, and leah for a bit. then they all left because amanda had to be home and leah was just leaving. i'm lazing about and mr. yerton and i talked for a few minutes. i got a phone call from my friend jessie whom i haven't heard from in a while. it was unexpected but cool. we gave her directions to the yerton house and then we left to go to laurens party. since we had the best directions ever...we never arrived there and just sort of drove about for a while. then we went to say hey to link for a few. kept getting side-tracked and hopefully she didn't get in trouble if she was late getting home. we're going to start talking again so that should be great.

today i work 5:30-9. my boss called and was like "if you want the extra 30 minutes you can just relax till 6". i am contemplating it... but it's all good. dunno what i am doing tonight after work. i can't stay at links because he's going to the renaissance (sp) festival sunday and i want to go to my church sunday anyways. maybe we'll still hang out tonight but i'm not sure.

i don't know if i should be telling you this..but sunday darin and i are making the sequel to "rough sex on the fiery beach of hell" (RSOTFBOH). it'll be a hidden track and be entitled "rough sex on the fiery beach of hell part 2".

i think the beautiful mistake is a great band. the CD "this is who you are" reminds me of peru everytime i listen to it because it was the only CD i had to listen to. well...besides hamton and the hamsters. haha. do you ever listen to a cd after a while and have feelings like you used to? like you invest emotion into the music...and hearing it again is so nostalgic that you relive the experience. i miss peru.

okay well i am rambling now...but every body have a good day/night please.
=)

(3 new beginnings - let rest the chains)

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